Comment changes at the BB

So my day was suppose to start with a spin class over at Fitness First in Bondi. I was so anxious about it yesterday. Mainly because I hate having early morning commitments. I'm always so worried I'm not going to get there on time.

Because Noo and I share a bed I usually don't have to set an alarm to get up - Noo rouses me with a "It's wake up time! It's wake up time!" and then "What are we going to do today?". He usually opens his eyes wide awake anywhere between 6.30am and 8ish which is pretty reasonable time to be getting out of bed I think.

Because I had to transverse the city during peak hour I set my alarm for 6.30 and when it went off Noo snoozed on. I had a shower, dressed in my gym gear, had my usual coffee and then breakfast. Checked my emails, Facebook, Twitter and the front page of The Australian (my favourite paper). All was going along nicely. Noo woke and mum gave him his oats. I text my friend who I was meeting at the gym to double check she was all set to go. She finally text me back at just after 8 saying she wasn't going to make it.

Damn! That's all it took to lose my motivation.

Still in my gym gear I dropped my parents at the Quay because it was still pissing down with rain and then dropped Noo off at daycare. Just as we were getting out of the car mum called to say they got their days wrong and would I come get them again. It is lucky we only live five minutes drive away! I finally got back to the apartment sometime after 10.

By this time I wasn't feeling too crash hot. Without giving too much detail, all that fibre I've been added to my diet started having an effect on my tummy.

TMI: Adding FibreBoost and Benefiber is finally having an effect

So I ended up spending an entire day at home, dressed in gym gear, reading blogs all over the net, as well as making a few changes to mine, most notably adding a third party comment management system Disqus. I wanted to be able to easily reply to any comments being left on each post and that didn't seem possible directly through Blogger. Let me know if you like it or not.

In the afternoon my sister dropped in with the beautiful Mala. I made lunch and while Yo ate, I nursed Mali Moo and took photos of her sleeping on my lap.

Crunchy cabbage, carrot, apple, pecan salad with pork schnitzel
served with lite sour cream and Hanks Chilli Jam

My gorgeous niece. Ooooh, I love her!

So I had quite a good day getting more ideas for improving my blog and trying to get inspiration for my upcoming uni subject (advanced web design) as well as having an ok day foodwise. I just didn't FDI and go to the gym! I have my guts as my excuse though. They still feel weird. Looking forward to my blood test results tomorrow.

Good night for now.

V.

The up swing

After starting the day in a bad mood yesterday things improved slowly as the day went on, ending with me being very relaxed. Took a while to get there though...

Went to lunch with mum, my sister Yolanda, Noo and baby Mala. It was my shout so I suggested sushi train at Westfields in the city. I usually have no problem eating Japanese as long as its good and fresh and if I have any of the rolls with rice I just douse it in soy sauce and take small bites so it goes down. I ordered a stack of stuff off the menu because they gave us a table rather than a spot at the train because we had the baby in a pram. All was good until I took my first bite and was stuck. Like, really stuck.

I waited ages because this can happen sometimes. I can get stuck on that first mouthful but once that is through it is like it has paved the way for any subsequent bites to come through cleanly and easily. Not this time. Second, third, fourth mouthfuls stuck, stuck and stuck. Fucking pissed me right off. I was paying but not eating! Mum, Yo and Noo ate almost everything while I sat there wishing hopefully I'd get that feeling of instant relief once the food drops. But it never happened.

I tried drinking a little green tea to help things along. Big mistake! When I add liquid to food it is like my oesophagus turns into a washing machine - churning and agitating - desperately trying to get the food to squish through the tiny opening to my stomach. Like each mouthful is fighting to get through first, punching and shoving the next bit of food and the walls of my pouch to make an exit to freedom. I can feel each turn, each punch and fuck can it hurt.

I was in agony by this stage and knew there was only one way that sushi was going and it was up. I asked mum and Yo to watch Noo so I could race to the toilet. Of course there was no way Noo was having that so in the end I took him to the parents' room with me. There I was, holding my hair back chucking the entire contents of my pouch into the toilet. Noo started copying me making similar noises and actions with his head over the kids' toilet next to me. It was a funny sight really.

I don't mind the chucking up of food, but when I've paid to eat at a nice restaurant all I see is dollar signs dropping into the dunny. So annoying!

Coming out the wrong end.
Picture from here.

We left Westfield and Yo went off for an appointment. It had started to rain (again!) so mum, Noo and I sought shelter in Dymocks book shop. After the chuck I was still starving so with Noo checking out the kids' books with mum I went up to the cafe to have a milkshake - food guaranteed to get through the bloody band. 300+ calories later and I was satisfied.

We made it home in the pouring rain and then I did something to surprise myself. I went to the gym! Amazing. Two days running. Had a great workout on the treadmill running and walking for 30 minutes as well as completing 5km on the bike. I then did 3 sets of 12 tricep dips and burnt a total of 460 calories, according to my new best friend - my Polar heart rate monitor.

I finished the day off with a healthy tuna salad and a dip in the spa and sauna to relax my weary muscles.

All in all a great end to what at first seemed like was going to be a bad day.

V.

PS Happy Australia Day to all you Aussies out there.

What a difference a couple of days makes!

I have seriously done nothing except lounge around and read, surf the web and watch TV for the last 24 hours, but I've done it alone and I gave myself permission to relax.

I love my boy more than life itself, but god, did I need this break. To be able to do what I want when I want without a three year old climbing all over me or demanding anything from me has been just what I need to clear my mind. It has given me time to relax and to sleep without being kicked in the guts all night.

Yesterday I also set up a new Twitter account for this blog. Anyone interested can follow me at @BabblingBandit. I'm just going to post the everyday stuff about my band. Food I eat, times I get stuck. That sort of thing. Anyone thinking about getting a lap-band might find it interesting to read about the little daily details of life with one. I thought too, it might keep me more honest about the food I eat if I am publishing to the Twittersphere. I might think twice about that junk I want to eat if I have to tell everyone about it (well, my three followers)!

So I've got my gym gear on. It is 10am. Noo and my parents are due back in about three hours. I'm just waiting for my phone to charge so I can try this new app at the gym this morning. It is called 5k Runner. Anyone know it or used it? It is a couch to 5K app that tells you when to walk and when to run in intervals til you get to running 5km. I'm still doubtful I'll ever be able to run. I have dodgy knees so I probably shouldn't run but I have had a few dreams lately that I was running and it felt great. Exhilarating even! I want to try to replicate that feeling in real life so I'm going to give it a go. I'll write more about it later.

Gym shoes are on! Now get your butt to the gym woman!

Chat later.

V.

Make some changes and get a life

19 days into the new year and nothing has changed. I feel so stagnant, almost paralysed. Change is obviously what I need but so much fear holds me back from doing anything. I'm tired and bored and irritate easily.

I need to get a job.

I'm the only one who can take the turn off.
Picture borrowed from Lifehack.org

Yuck! I wrote those couple of lines above a few days ago. Nothing has changed but I don't feel as desperate as I did on Thursday. At least I don't think I do.

Mum and dad have taken Noo away for a couple of days so I can have a break. I miss him badly already. Whenever I drop him at school I don't feel bad. I know he loves preschool. But for some reason I'm racked with mother's guilt this afternoon. I feel guilty for shipping him off. For feeling like a need a break from parenting.

People have started to notice I'm not feeling 100%. My parents and even a couple of my friends have asked if I am ok. I don't know what to say. Most people think I have an easy life. I only have one child and I don't work and I live with my parents. Life should be simple right?

These are the things that are worrying me at the moment:

1. My diet is shocking. I have sugar everyday. I crave it. My band is in the perfect place. I have to eat slowly, consciously chewing small mouthfuls of non starchy foods. Oats and prunes for breakfast, salad for lunch, protein and veggies for dinner. Great. I'm satiated after about an entrée size portion. Even better. The problem is in between meals I crave snacky stuff like popcorn or lollies and I never resist the bad stuff. Also after dinner I have to have chocolate or ice cream or both. Usually I have a small cone with low fat vanilla ice cream with crushed peanuts and Ice Magic on top. To die for... literally.

My weight is hovering around 80-82kg. I have been this weight most of my adult life. While it is so much better than being between 100-102kg I'm still 10kg short of my goal. I feel fat and ugly. I feel like I'm aging so fast now. I feel like I've wasted the best years of my life being fat. Who cares if I'm a bit overweight when I'm old? Now is when it matters. Especially seeing as I'd like to find a 'mate'. And I don't want a fat partner either. I think it is disgusting if I'm honest. My gut, my legs, my arse, my arms. Fucking disgusting. I find it completely repellent on a man too. I'm not saying I need a perfect Michelle Bridges 12 fucking wbt body. Just a normal size 12 would be awesome. Why the fuck then can't I stick to any diet? Why do I shove that chocolate in my gob, order that ice cream, buy those lollies, bake those chocolate chip bikkies? Why?

2. Exercise is currently not a part of my life. But I want it to be. Fear holds me back. I bought a 10 pack of visits to Fitness First that I have to use before March. I went the first time last year when I was attempting 12wbt. I liked the class but the gym scared me. Living in the city the nearest gyms to me are obviously frequented by city workers. I went to the Bond Street Fitness First and it was full of hot men and women who were so fit and fabulous and generally intimidating for a fatty like me. Sounds like such a bad excuse, and it is I know, but I can't seem to get past it. I haven't been to our gym downstairs either. I'm just so fucking slack. Slack and lazy.

3. Uni has started freaking me out. I dropped out last study period because my heart wasn't in it any more. My anxiety was through the roof because I was also trying to find a job and doing RSVP trying to find a man as well as trying to do 12wbt by the book and failing. Something had to give so I gave up uni. My first application for special circumstances was rejected but finally my second was accepted. I've enrolled again in the same subject for the next study period which is a relief but I'm worried I'll fail again. The study period doesn't begin until 27 February so I really should use this time wisely and get started on redoing assignment 1 ahead of time.

4. The work situation scares me witless! I don't even want to write about it really. I know I need a job for my own sanity but having that kind of commitment terrifies me. For too long I haven't been expected anywhere really. Noo is the only one that makes me do anything and that is for love so it is ok. He loves me even when I fuck up. What if I actually do get a job and I don't do it right or I wake up every morning again hyperventilating with anxiety about having to go and perform around a bunch of strangers. And this market is so tight! Especially for part time admin roles. I've had so many rejections. Before my breakdown I got every job I ever interviewed for. I'm excellent at what I do but I can't seem to get a foot in the door anywhere now.

So that is it I think. My poor me middle class problems.

I should stop whining and start doing but I'm so tired. I need another life changing epiphany. That lightning bolt. That breakthrough. Just some sort of kick up the arse that gets me moving again.

V.

And the award goes to... ME!

Woohoo! I just ate a meal without getting stuck after every bite. And it wasn't because I chewed the crap out of my food, I think my restriction has gone down... for this moment anyway. I have been so tight that lunch at my desk, while studying, usually takes about 1.5 hours to eat. I. Kid. You. Not. I feel like I eat constantly because I eat so incredibly slowly which is probably a good thing, yet slightly annoying.


I haven't blogged since Tuesday because I basically haven't had much to report band-wise other than the getting stuck issue, which really isn't an issue, because I think this is just the way it is suppose to be. I've got a ring around the top of my stomach! What did I expect? To be able to gulp down massive amounts at lightning speed? Gees, Louise.


Yet, the lunch/dinner whatever it was I just ate at 5pm, went down fine. This morning I couldn't even get my yogurt and melon down I was so restricted, yet now I just ate two rye crispbread with avo, Hank's Chilli Jam (to die for!) and ham very easily.


Now I made a commitment (apparently *sarcastic tone here*) to eat well and exercise with my Getting Serious diet a couple of weeks ago and of course, I did not stick to it. As I said in my last post, I lasted five days and was rewarded with a 1.9kg loss, which is great and should have been motivation to stick to what seems like a winning formula. But this week I have been pretty good, but not as good (see Hank's Chilli Jam ref above). Tomorrow I am still hoping for a loss. Hoping for 1kg down... at least. I'm just dying to cross off that next weight loss goal on my list. I'm so close!


One problem that still persists is the lack of exercise in my routine (I use that word loosely... I'm not a 'routine' person). I went to the gym once last week and did forty minutes of cardio - 15 minutes on the rower and 25 minutes on the treadmill. I enjoyed it too but I just haven't been able to get there since. That's not to say I haven't been active. Chasing after a two year old boy is certainly not work for the faint hearted.


The gym in my building is not very busy but on Thursday, when I was there for my workout, a bloke came in who was not hot, but OK looking and very fit. That was enough for me to want to get out of there as soon as I could. He was doing a workout with big muscles lifting big weights with grunting and sweating and god... it was enough to intimidate me away from the there. Does anyone else get like this? I wouldn't have minded so much if it was a chick working out with big muscles but a man? Totally embarrassing. And I know this is completely stupid and irrational and he probably didn't even notice fat ol' me sweating away on the treadmill but still, embarrassing.


Argh! Enough of that sweaty man talk, and on to my award. The Outback Bandit over at All That Razzberry has bestowed me with a Stylish Blogger Award. I thank her very much for it.

The rules of accepting this award are: Thank the person who gave you the award, reveal seven things about yourself, and nominate 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered or love. Then leave a comment on their blog letting them know they've been nominated..


Seven things about me. With 26 January this week, I've compiled the list with Australia Day in mind.


1. I'm not fond of the beach. Despite being Aussie, having been raised going to the beach all summer, I find the whole experience quite frustrating and annoying. All that sand, sun and seaweed! Yuck! Give me a council run local pool any day.


2. I'm not a full on Aussie. I was born in New York City, New York, USA. I have duel citizenship and it is actually harder for me to prove being Aussie than it is being an American, despite my true blue Australian accent. There is a spelling mistake in my Australian citizenship papers which I have not been bothered to fix yet so I'm currently not an official Aussie. 


3. I crave Vegemite. If I haven't had some for a while, my body craves it like a drug. I like it on sourdough toast with lots of butter, or on a crispbread with just a scrape of marg, I'm easy, as long as there's heaps on there.


4. When I lived in London I would stock up on Cherry Ripes, Caramello Koalas, Cottees Cordial and, believe it or not, Napisan, whenever I came home for a visit.


5. My all time favourite Aussie band is Powderfinger but I've never seen them live... and won't get to now they've broken up.


6. My favourite Australian novelist is Peter Corris. He writes a series of detective stories which I have been reading since I was about 14. The first one was published in 1980 of which I have a first edition. I met Peter at a book signing in 1996 and he signed all the books I had at that time. There are 35 books all up which are set in and around Sydney. I am currently reading the most recently published Cliff Hardy novel, Torn Apart. Cliff Hardy, the main character, is getting pretty old so as each new novel comes out I get more and more nervous it will be the last. I know Cliff can't got on forever, but I will miss him terribly when he's gone.


7. Australia Day 1988, when we celebrated our Bicentenary, was one of the best and proudest days of my life. I was 13 and my family and I spent the day on my uncle's yacht. We sailed out to the heads to join the Tall Ships as they reenacted the First Fleet coming into Sydney Harbour. My ancestor was a convict on the Scarborough and it felt amazing to be doing what he did (albeit in vastly different circumstances) exactly 200 years later. Breathtaking stuff!


OK, there's seven things about me, to do with being Australian! Now, in keeping with this theme, I nominate the following Aussies for the Stylish Blogger Award:

Candid Bandit

Josie at My adventure with my lap band

Alycejo at My rescue is possible

Ash at Seeing in colour

Bec at My lapband journey
Sam at Banded for me

Bye for now.
V.

Getting serious about working the band

Yesterday I listed the issues that are currently affecting my anxiety. Today I'm going to put together some clear goals as to how to deal with these problems. 


1. Keeping Noo active


This is a constant source of guilt for me. I know Noo wants to be outside running around all the time but I just can't provide that for him. I know he feels cooped up in the apartment, but what can I do? I think it is fair that I take him out for a play for half the day and the other half we spend in doors so I can do my study/blogging.


And we are often out more than half a day doing all sorts of fun stuff like swimming, walking, going to the zoo, the beach, the aquarium. And when we are home he has everything he could possibly want: all the toys, books and TV shows a kid his age could possibly need! And I don't just leave him to it. I'm always in the room with him and I talk to him while he plays on the floor and I work at the dining room table. Surely this is enough!


Thank goodness daycare starts back tomorrow so we'll both get some welcome relief.

Out and about in Hyde Park yesterday afternoon to check out
the Sydney Festival First Night event

2. Getting my diet back on track


OK, this is a big one. My next appointment for a fill is on Tuesday and then I'm going to start a version of the Liver Cleansing Diet. I haven't got the book but my sister and brother-in-law have done it several times and I've learnt the basics from them.


Basically the rules are you can eat as much as you like of the following:

• Vegetables
• Fruit
• Nuts and seeds
• Legumes
• Cold pressed oils (eg extra virgin olive oil)
• Lean white meat (eg chicken)
• Fish (including prawns)
• Eggs
• Spices, vinegar, mustard - as long as it is not sweetened

I think I'll struggle with these after a fill, but also allowed are low GI carbs in moderation: 

• Low GI pasta - spelt, brown
• Low GI breads - spelt, sourdough and other whole grain breads
• Low GI rice - Doongara Clever Rice

The following foods must be eliminated from my diet completely:

• Dairy - I really don't like the idea of this because I think skim milk is an excellent source of calcium and it is not bad for you so I'm only going to do this for the first 10 days
• Red meat (eg beef, lamb) - I'm not so keen on this because my iron levels are always low and as lean read meat is the best source of haem iron I'd rather not remove it completely but I'll do it for the first 10 days
• Sugar has to go completely but honey is allowed which is great
• No alcohol is allowed but that's no problem for me!
• No caffeine is allowed. Hmmm. Not into this rule at all! I'll forgo cappuccinos for the first 10 days but my black coffee and Diet Coke stay  

Hardcore fact to think about to keep me on track: Just like alcohol and cigarettes, foods that are high in saturated fat and sugar are poison and can also cause death. 




3. Add some exercise into my week


For some reason I didn't have this one on my list yesterday but really it should be there. I haven't stuck to an exercise routine since 2009! That's a whole year without planned exercise and I really think if I'm ever going to get to my goal weight I need to get to the gym. 


I have absolutely NO EXCUSE not to exercise. To put myself to shame, check this out:

• I have a fully equipped gym in my building only three floors down in the lift where I live. It is never busy and there's a big screen TV to watch while using the cardio equipment.
• I bought a tiny iPod Shuffle in 2009 to use while exercising and I've NEVER used it!
• I have a 25 metre swimming pool in the building that, like the gym, is never busy so I could be doing laps.
• I live right near Sydney Harbour, considered one of the most beautiful harbours in the world, and has the best walking/running routes around it. Joggers and walkers are everywhere around here but yet, I sit back, trying to think up excuses!
• Although I'm flat out doing study on the days Noo is at daycare, I really should be able to fit in an hour of exercise on those three days. 

How bad is that! I am so fortunate to have all these things right at my fingertips and I just take them for granted. The gym, the pool and the million dollar views around the Harbour cost me NOTHING to use! Zilch, nadda, zero cash. 


I told you guys how I joined a gym back in late November, well about two weeks after that I managed to get out of the membership. I just knew I wouldn't go. Who was I kidding? If it is such an effort to go three floors down, how the fuck did I think I was going to get in the car and drive 20 minutes to go to a gym! I astound myself sometimes. I really do.


I've just got to break out of this fear of exercise. That's what it has got to be that holds me back. Fear and laziness. What else could it be? I've just got to go. 


So the goal is to have three planned exercise sessions a week. These can include any combination of the following:

• 45-60 minutes walking around the Harbour
• 45-60 minutes at the gym doing a combination of cardio and weight resistance training
• 30-45 minutes swimming laps

Hardcore facts to think about to keep me on track: Regular physical activity can...

• Help prevent heart disease, stroke and high blood pressure
• Reduce the risk of developing type II diabetes and some cancers
• Help build and maintain healthy bones, muscles and joints reducing the risk of injury 
• Promote psychological wellbeing.

I'll weigh in tomorrow morning as usual and set weight loss goal then. Basically I want to get back to losing a kilo a week. 


There is no one else that can do this but me! I've got the band, the psychotherapy skills, the cooking and food knowledge skills as well as the exercise equipment - all the tools to get me to be the happy, healthy and slim gorgeous woman that I want to be! 


Now I've just got to deal with the short term discomfort in order to accomplish the long term gain.

I CAN DO IT!

I HAVE TO DO IT!

I am never going to be completely happy with myself while I still look in the mirror and see a fat woman looking back at me. 


The last three issues are uni work, spending and getting back to work. As this post is pretty long already I'll leave those for another day.


I'm feeling pumped to get started on this diet/exercise challenge as soon as I get my fill on Tuesday.  So my ten day challenge starts on 11 January and concludes on 20 January. The diet doesn't end there, but hopefully this 10 day kick start will get the kegs moving again.



If you made it this far... thanks for reading.


V.

Catching up

Thank you

First, I want to thank everyone who commented on my last post. The comment that prompted the post in the first place made me feel really exposed and a bit foolish but now I'm feeling much more confident that what I put in my blog has meaning and purpose, so thank you all. I should say too that the initial comment came from a person who is not a blogger and doesn't understand how the blogging community works so really wasn't qualified to make the judgement in the first place.

Some random pics taken during the week

Watching TV with Noo

Walking home from TAFE

Noo being outrageously gorgeous

On the way out for dinner

This month's manicure - O.P.I. Cajun Shrimp
sitting strategically on my Alexander Wang Donna Hobo

Out with the girls for dinner - Din Tai Fung dumplings - my favourite

Driving up the Mountains - I gotta do something about my 'do!
That egghead look has to go!

The view from my parent's house

Noo today

Not another photo Mum!

Writing my blog this arvo

What's been happening

I haven't been online the last few days so I'm way behind in my blog reading and writing. On Friday Noo and I went up to my parent's place in the Blue Mountains which was lovely. The house is large though and not very child proof so there's a lot of work to do running after Noo to make sure he doesn't get into things he shouldn't. It was lovely to get out the city for a while and enjoy the fresh air and quiet.

Band news

My band is going ok. I definitely have restriction as I'm getting stuck nearly everyday. The main cause usually being that I inevitably get interrupted by Noo while I'm eating for one reason or another. Any of you mums out there will know how hard it is to just eat when you have a little kid without having to multitask doing something for them at the same time.

What I have been eating has been pretty bad too. As I'm not a nine to fiver at the moment, I have no real structure in my day so I don't really eat three square meals. I've really noticed too how much I eat out! Whether at TAFE on Tuesdays and Thursdays or catching up with friends for lunch at a foodcourt or cafe in the city. I haven't got used to ordering the right foods and end up getting something that's not really band friendly or way too large a serve so most of it ends up in the bin. Also, my parents have been in town for the last two weeks because of my dad's cut foot so mum has been doing most of the cooking.

As I've mentioned in one of my earlier posts before retiring my mum was a professional chef. She seriously is an amazing cook. She cooks the most wonderful home cooked gourmet food. Its generally healthy but not proper diet food. I must take more photos for you so you can see just how delicious and tempting her cooking is. This week we've had slow roasted leg of lamb with vegies and cashew salsa; kumera, spinach and bacon lasagna; creamy potato and leek soup. She also made a batch of white chocolate macarons. Yum!

I also find I am snacking on Noo's food. Bad. I always take a snack pack out with me when we go out. This usually consists of muesli bars, mini boxes of sultanas, cheese and crackers,chopped fruit, that sort of stuff. Noo never finishes anything so I end up eating it instead. More bad.

Even though I'm getting stuck, I must say I'm not getting that good feeling of satiety after eating unless I eat about a cup and a half. If I eat about 1.5 cups of solid food I'm full and it lasts for hours, that content feeling, but if I don't I'm starving and I snack.

I also haven't been to the gym since that first time two weeks ago. Naughty. I've been doing lots of walking around town though and Noo and I chased a ball around the deck yesterday afternoon, but seriously, that is not enough!

Argh! This post is full of excuses. I really need to pull my finger out and start taking control of this whole project. My parents are back up the Mountains for the week so there's only me here in control of food. Here is a list of things to do to get this lifestyle change (I don't want to use the term diet) back on track:

1. Make meal plan for five days - Monday through Friday

2. Make shopping list as per number 1.

3. Go food shopping as per number 2.

4. Keep food diary for one week to see where things are going awry.

5. Go to the gym on Monday afternoon, Tuesday afternoon and Thursday morning (Noo's kindy days) for at least 30 minutes.

Fingers crossed I can achieve all the above. Its my mini five day challenge for myself. I will keep you posted during the week as to how I go.

I hope everyone has had great weekends, I'm going to try and get around as many blogs as I can now to see what you're all up to.

V.

Gym, weight loss, fill (tomorrow)

This week has started well. Woke up to sunny skies this morning. That's two days in a row now which is great after a week of yucky volatile spring weather with rain and clouds and wind. And Noo is sleeping in til around 7.30am which is a massive sleep in when you're used to getting up at around 6am.

Took us ages to get ready with Noo back on his hunger strike/fussy eating behaviour. Drives me crazy that a child of mine could have "food issues". I just hope he grows out of them. We finally got out the door at around 9.30am, though it was hard getting the poor little thing down to kindy. This is common on a Monday after he's been with me for three days, especially if we've had a really fun weekend like this one.

Noo's day care centre is down the bottom of a very steep hill. I hate this hill. I even sometimes drive him down even though the centre is only just half a block away, about 250 metres or so, from our building. Seriously not far at all except for that bloody hill. There's no getting out of it by going around the block the other way because the centre is at the bottom of a kind of valley of steep road. Its steep no matter which way from the bottom you get back up. Its especially hard pushing up a 13kg boy in a stroller although most the time I get Noo to walk with his little teddy bear reins on.

So this morning, Noo didn't want to go to kindy, and he knew which direction we were going so I had to carry all 13 kegs down the hill. It was hard, but not as hard as carrying him up the hill, which I've done plenty of times.

I talk in detail about this as I am determined to beat this hill. One day, and one day soon, I will be able get up this hill and not huff and puff, but actually enjoy the vista it looks out on and get to the top feeling energised and ready to do it again.

This morning once Noo had settled with his little classmates I powered up that hill and straight into our building and into the gym, then straight on to the rowing machine to do 1000 metres. I was shocked I still had it in me! I haven't been to the gym since January! I huffed and I puffed and I went red in the face, but I did it!

After the rower, I did 3 sets of 20 bicep curls, 10 minutes fast walking on the treadmill and 5 mins on the bike. Not a massive workout but great all the same. Success! I felt great! I'm back.

To top it all off I think I've dropped 1.4kg. I say I think I've lost that much because the scales I usually weigh myself on have carked it and need a new battery (I'm off for a walk to Office Works this arvo to get one) so I had to use the other scales we have. They are usually about two kilos less than mine (which I bought from Boots in London, and strangely because of this, I love them). These other scales said I weighed... wait for it... 90kgs! Its just too good to be true! That would be my lowest weight since giving birth, but I know they are cheat's scales so that's why I added 2 kegs which would bring me to 92kg and therefore down 1.4kg from last week's weigh in number.

Still very exciting! Especially after a couple of slow loss weeks and especially after a week of almost normal eating.

After the gym I was desperate for a carbo load of pasta (especially seeing as after my fill tomorrow I probably won't stomach too many complex carbs).

I just chucked this delicious combo together with what I had in the fridge:

Tuna and avocado pasta

 

One nest of angel hair pasta

Half a small can of Italian tuna in olive oil

Half a tiny avocado

Chopped red onion

Pepper and salt

White balsamic vinegar

Little extra olive oil

Sprinkle of parmesan

So, so yummy! I had that about 2 hours ago and I'm still very satisfied.

As I've mentioned about 20 times in my last few posts tomorrow is my first appointment for a fill. It is at 3pm AEST so anyone reading can think of me then. Hahaha. Not really, but it is exiting, isn't it... been to the gym, dropped 1 and a half kegs and a fill tomorrow! What's not to be excited about!

Yay! Feeling on top of the world. Off to get this battery. I need an official weight asap.

Ciao for now.

V.