The up swing

After starting the day in a bad mood yesterday things improved slowly as the day went on, ending with me being very relaxed. Took a while to get there though...

Went to lunch with mum, my sister Yolanda, Noo and baby Mala. It was my shout so I suggested sushi train at Westfields in the city. I usually have no problem eating Japanese as long as its good and fresh and if I have any of the rolls with rice I just douse it in soy sauce and take small bites so it goes down. I ordered a stack of stuff off the menu because they gave us a table rather than a spot at the train because we had the baby in a pram. All was good until I took my first bite and was stuck. Like, really stuck.

I waited ages because this can happen sometimes. I can get stuck on that first mouthful but once that is through it is like it has paved the way for any subsequent bites to come through cleanly and easily. Not this time. Second, third, fourth mouthfuls stuck, stuck and stuck. Fucking pissed me right off. I was paying but not eating! Mum, Yo and Noo ate almost everything while I sat there wishing hopefully I'd get that feeling of instant relief once the food drops. But it never happened.

I tried drinking a little green tea to help things along. Big mistake! When I add liquid to food it is like my oesophagus turns into a washing machine - churning and agitating - desperately trying to get the food to squish through the tiny opening to my stomach. Like each mouthful is fighting to get through first, punching and shoving the next bit of food and the walls of my pouch to make an exit to freedom. I can feel each turn, each punch and fuck can it hurt.

I was in agony by this stage and knew there was only one way that sushi was going and it was up. I asked mum and Yo to watch Noo so I could race to the toilet. Of course there was no way Noo was having that so in the end I took him to the parents' room with me. There I was, holding my hair back chucking the entire contents of my pouch into the toilet. Noo started copying me making similar noises and actions with his head over the kids' toilet next to me. It was a funny sight really.

I don't mind the chucking up of food, but when I've paid to eat at a nice restaurant all I see is dollar signs dropping into the dunny. So annoying!

Coming out the wrong end.
Picture from here.

We left Westfield and Yo went off for an appointment. It had started to rain (again!) so mum, Noo and I sought shelter in Dymocks book shop. After the chuck I was still starving so with Noo checking out the kids' books with mum I went up to the cafe to have a milkshake - food guaranteed to get through the bloody band. 300+ calories later and I was satisfied.

We made it home in the pouring rain and then I did something to surprise myself. I went to the gym! Amazing. Two days running. Had a great workout on the treadmill running and walking for 30 minutes as well as completing 5km on the bike. I then did 3 sets of 12 tricep dips and burnt a total of 460 calories, according to my new best friend - my Polar heart rate monitor.

I finished the day off with a healthy tuna salad and a dip in the spa and sauna to relax my weary muscles.

All in all a great end to what at first seemed like was going to be a bad day.

V.

PS Happy Australia Day to all you Aussies out there.

A tight start to 2012

Wow! It is 2012.

The end of 2011 was big.

My son had his third birthday and my sister had a baby girl the day before, making me an aunty for the first time. My time off uni was filled with organising Noo's birthday party and driving my sister around from one appointment to another, from shop to shop, as she did the last of the preparations for Mala's birth.

Christmas was quiet. My mum prepared food here and we took it over to my sister's to have it with her new little family. Noo is in awe of his little cousin. It is beautiful to watch how he is with her, with so much gentle amazement.

Noo looks at his beautiful little cousin Mala Grace

Having a first hold of a baby

My band has been tight. Really tight. I think it was really how it should be. Firm enough to make sure eating must be done very slowly, with lots of chewing of tiny little mouthfuls. The only problem is that I was so busy it was so hard to sit down and eat a proper meal at band-speed. With all the running around I was doing I just wanted to be able to grab a quick sandwich, hog it down and be off on the next mission. Of course this isn't possible with a band so I ended up missing a lot of meals, eating a lot of popcorn and drinking a lot of shakes.

I had a scheduled appointment with my band doctor just before Chrissy so asked for a slight unfill. He wasn't pleased about it because I was asking for the little bit to be taken out that I'd asked to be put in when I was attempting the 12wbt. But it's Christmas, I told him! I must have looked crestfallen because after giving me a little rousing off he said he'd take a tiny bit out. And tiny bit it was! I'm glad though because I've made it through Christmas and New Years and I've only gained about 1.4kg. Any gain is shit, I know, but it could have been worse.

Yesterday I had a major getting stuck episode. I was at the pool with Noo and my girlfriends and their kids. All the kids ran to the other side of the pool to play on the little playground. My friends were happy to let their kids play without too much supervision and I was trying to be all cool about it too. At the same time I was eating a cracker and mustn't have chewed enough because it got majorly stuck. I was trying to watch from a distance what the kids were up to and as the anxiety rose my throat must have closed a bit more and my band wrapped itself around that bit of bikkie. No worries I thought, I'll walk over to the playground and make sure everyone's ok and in the meantime the walk will help push the food through.

No such luck. I got Noo back to where our towels and stuff was piled and then went off to the canteen to get a drink and some hot chips for Noo's lunch. I had a big mouthful of Gatorade and that was it. I could feel the crackers and Gatorade moving around in my esophagus fighting their way to get through the hole and down into my stomach. Oh god, it was so painful! The worst getting stuck episode I've had in ages. I had to wait at the canteen for what seemed like yonks for Noo's chippies to be done while all this was happening and I became increasingly aware of my need to purge ASAP!

When finally I could take my drink and the chips back to where we were sitting I ran back to the bathroom and blurgh! Chucked everything right up. God, the relief! The crackers and the snakes (yes, so much for my new year's resolution to cut out lollies!) game up in great gulps.

The thing is I don't mind the spewing. I'm sure I've said it before. The relief is enormous and it's not like it tastes bad like a traditional vomit does. The food hasn't hit the stomach yet so it hasn't been mixed with acid. And as I see the food swirling around the basin I think, well these are calories I don't have to worry about any more!

On the dating front, I have heaps to report. I've written enough for today though so I'll save that for another day.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful start to 2012!

V.

37

It is my 37th birthday today. I really can't believe it. 37! Sometimes it only feels like yesterday that I was celebrating my 30th and then at other times that period seems like it was actually someone else's life and memories. Today is the second birthday I've celebrated with my band. This year was quite similar to last year but this year rather than being excited about getting out of the 90s and into the 80s and I'm stoked to be finally weighing in the 70s (albeit 79.9kg).

I had a lovely day having lunch with my family at my sister and brother in law's home. Everyone provided a dish and the food looked absolutely divine. Unfortunately for me though I got majorly stuck on the first mouthful of home made scallop and prawn dumpling and that was it for the day. I stupidly tried to keep eating and ending up having to chuck everything up and my band swelled up and that was it. I did manage to get a small amount of cake down though which was some consolation.

Asian style noodles, ribs and greens

37 years young!

That's it for now. I'm on a break from uni for a while so hopefully I'll get my fingers typing at whack out posts more regularly again.

Post ya later!

V.