And the award goes to... ME!

Woohoo! I just ate a meal without getting stuck after every bite. And it wasn't because I chewed the crap out of my food, I think my restriction has gone down... for this moment anyway. I have been so tight that lunch at my desk, while studying, usually takes about 1.5 hours to eat. I. Kid. You. Not. I feel like I eat constantly because I eat so incredibly slowly which is probably a good thing, yet slightly annoying.


I haven't blogged since Tuesday because I basically haven't had much to report band-wise other than the getting stuck issue, which really isn't an issue, because I think this is just the way it is suppose to be. I've got a ring around the top of my stomach! What did I expect? To be able to gulp down massive amounts at lightning speed? Gees, Louise.


Yet, the lunch/dinner whatever it was I just ate at 5pm, went down fine. This morning I couldn't even get my yogurt and melon down I was so restricted, yet now I just ate two rye crispbread with avo, Hank's Chilli Jam (to die for!) and ham very easily.


Now I made a commitment (apparently *sarcastic tone here*) to eat well and exercise with my Getting Serious diet a couple of weeks ago and of course, I did not stick to it. As I said in my last post, I lasted five days and was rewarded with a 1.9kg loss, which is great and should have been motivation to stick to what seems like a winning formula. But this week I have been pretty good, but not as good (see Hank's Chilli Jam ref above). Tomorrow I am still hoping for a loss. Hoping for 1kg down... at least. I'm just dying to cross off that next weight loss goal on my list. I'm so close!


One problem that still persists is the lack of exercise in my routine (I use that word loosely... I'm not a 'routine' person). I went to the gym once last week and did forty minutes of cardio - 15 minutes on the rower and 25 minutes on the treadmill. I enjoyed it too but I just haven't been able to get there since. That's not to say I haven't been active. Chasing after a two year old boy is certainly not work for the faint hearted.


The gym in my building is not very busy but on Thursday, when I was there for my workout, a bloke came in who was not hot, but OK looking and very fit. That was enough for me to want to get out of there as soon as I could. He was doing a workout with big muscles lifting big weights with grunting and sweating and god... it was enough to intimidate me away from the there. Does anyone else get like this? I wouldn't have minded so much if it was a chick working out with big muscles but a man? Totally embarrassing. And I know this is completely stupid and irrational and he probably didn't even notice fat ol' me sweating away on the treadmill but still, embarrassing.


Argh! Enough of that sweaty man talk, and on to my award. The Outback Bandit over at All That Razzberry has bestowed me with a Stylish Blogger Award. I thank her very much for it.

The rules of accepting this award are: Thank the person who gave you the award, reveal seven things about yourself, and nominate 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered or love. Then leave a comment on their blog letting them know they've been nominated..


Seven things about me. With 26 January this week, I've compiled the list with Australia Day in mind.


1. I'm not fond of the beach. Despite being Aussie, having been raised going to the beach all summer, I find the whole experience quite frustrating and annoying. All that sand, sun and seaweed! Yuck! Give me a council run local pool any day.


2. I'm not a full on Aussie. I was born in New York City, New York, USA. I have duel citizenship and it is actually harder for me to prove being Aussie than it is being an American, despite my true blue Australian accent. There is a spelling mistake in my Australian citizenship papers which I have not been bothered to fix yet so I'm currently not an official Aussie. 


3. I crave Vegemite. If I haven't had some for a while, my body craves it like a drug. I like it on sourdough toast with lots of butter, or on a crispbread with just a scrape of marg, I'm easy, as long as there's heaps on there.


4. When I lived in London I would stock up on Cherry Ripes, Caramello Koalas, Cottees Cordial and, believe it or not, Napisan, whenever I came home for a visit.


5. My all time favourite Aussie band is Powderfinger but I've never seen them live... and won't get to now they've broken up.


6. My favourite Australian novelist is Peter Corris. He writes a series of detective stories which I have been reading since I was about 14. The first one was published in 1980 of which I have a first edition. I met Peter at a book signing in 1996 and he signed all the books I had at that time. There are 35 books all up which are set in and around Sydney. I am currently reading the most recently published Cliff Hardy novel, Torn Apart. Cliff Hardy, the main character, is getting pretty old so as each new novel comes out I get more and more nervous it will be the last. I know Cliff can't got on forever, but I will miss him terribly when he's gone.


7. Australia Day 1988, when we celebrated our Bicentenary, was one of the best and proudest days of my life. I was 13 and my family and I spent the day on my uncle's yacht. We sailed out to the heads to join the Tall Ships as they reenacted the First Fleet coming into Sydney Harbour. My ancestor was a convict on the Scarborough and it felt amazing to be doing what he did (albeit in vastly different circumstances) exactly 200 years later. Breathtaking stuff!


OK, there's seven things about me, to do with being Australian! Now, in keeping with this theme, I nominate the following Aussies for the Stylish Blogger Award:

Candid Bandit

Josie at My adventure with my lap band

Alycejo at My rescue is possible

Ash at Seeing in colour

Bec at My lapband journey
Sam at Banded for me

Bye for now.
V.

10 day "Getting Serious" diet lasted 5 days

Hey all

It is suppose to be day eight of my ten day Getting Serious diet but I caved at day six with a slice of banana cake. A bit disappointing but the five days worked a treat because I weighed in yesterday down 1.9kg (or 4.2lb). Very happy with that result.

I'm being far less strict this week adding dairy back into my diet but still restricting fat, sugars and carbs. I'm only 1.3kg from my next weight loss goal so with more good eating this week I'll hopefully get there on my next weigh in.

Thanks go to Miss Vickie and The Silver Haired Goddess for their comments on my last post. I was so baffled about getting stuck all the time last week and it wasn't until these two lovely ladies pointed out the obvious that I realised I've got to get back to basics with my band. They reminded me about one of the golden rules - chew, chew, chew! Since then I have been taking it slower, chewing more thoroughly and have had a better time with my eating.

I have pretty good restriction at the moment. I'm definitely not as hungry as I reported over the weekend which I think is because I've been out and about these last two days. When I'm home and studying in front of the computer all I want to do is eat. Preparing food is a subconscious procrastination technique. Like cleaning. I never clean unless there's something else I should be doing that I don't want to do or that seems too hard.

Lunch: Delicious rye crispbread with my homemade guacamole
eaten while studying

I can wear belts!

So with the loss of these last two kilos I've gained the ability to wear a belt! The above picture isn't a great photo but I just thought I'd show you my outfit from Sunday. I love this dress I picked up from Kmart, of all places, a couple of weeks ago for $19. The belt and pink rose earrings are from Sportsgirl. And my shoes are from my favourite shoe shop Camper.

Weight off my shoulders

I got the necklace I'm wearing in the above photo from Glamadonna  for my birthday in 2009. I have never really worn it until now because my neckline and shoulders were just too fat for it and it didn't sit right. Now I think it looks great. So many unexpected positives about losing weight!


Well that is enough from me tonight. Noo and I have had a very busy day at the pool. Here's a gorgeous photo of the kids asking for ice creams at the canteen. Too cute.

From left to right that's Ashie, Noo, Maddie, Ruby and Max

Bye for now.


V.

Day5/10 of "Getting Serious" diet

Struggling today. Despite the fact that I have pretty good restriction, I'm hungry all the time. I have to eat really consciously and only the friendliest of band foods. I even have trouble having large gulps of water. Its been really strange actually. I am literally thinking about food all day! This definitely isn't how I imagine the band should be working.


As I type this I am sitting down attempting to eat dinner. I made a delicious salad with a lovely fillet of sea bream that has been lightly sautéed in lemon juice, olive oil, garlic and dill. One mouthful in and I'm stuck. I'm typing this as I wait for it to pass through the band, as my fish gets cold, before I can move on to the next bite.

Dinner: Fish, green beans and salad

It is not that bad all the time, but quite frequently. Anybody else experience this? Its driving me crazy. Hunger coupled with blocking up. Maybe I'm not chewing enough? But what's with the hunger all the time? Why isn't my Vegas nerve doing what it is suppose to do by telling my brain I'm full when I'm not really?


I'm loving being more conscious about what I eat, making sure I only eat unprocessed whole foods - lots of vegies and lots of fruit. Heaps of fruit! I love it. But I'm sick of this hunger business. I caved today and had some dairy. So, I couldn't even manage 10 days without some yogurt! God, I was missing it so much. Yogurt is so delicious. Fresh unsweetened plain yogurt with fresh sliced rockmelon and a squeeze of honey. How fucking yummy does that sound? Divine!


I feel like a bit of a failure, but hell, I'm still eating amazingly well. I said yesterday that I wouldn't weigh on Monday but I think I will. I'm going to stay strict with the diet though until the ten days are up but I'm putting dairy back in my diet. Oh, and red meat. Not that I have had any yet but I had a stack of blood tests done during the week and my iron stores are still really low (this has been since having a baby) so my doctor said I should be eating at least three serves of lean red meat a week. 


So, still only eating unprocessed, non-sugary food, and very little complex carbs. There's no way bread, rice or pasta would get through my band at the moment anyway, but I've been eating these delicious rye crackers with avocado and smoked salmon. Yum! To die for. 


I'll finish off today with a few cute pictures I took of Noo today with my iPhone's Hipstamatic app. I've started yet another new blog for uni. This one is much better than my study blog, which I've now abandoned because it is just too boring. The new blog is at tumblr. which has some fab templates. I'm still getting the hang of how it all works but if you want to check it out click here. The theme of the blog is mine and Noo's life through the lens of the Hipstamatic and these are some pics from that:

At the fruit and vegie shop

Checking out the nuts

Waiting in line

Eftpos me baby!

Hope all is well in blogland.


V.

Day 4/10 "Getting Serious" diet

Hey everyone


Going along just nicely here. The hunger headaches have passed and I am almost half way through this ten day kick starter. I've decided I'm not going to weigh myself on Monday as usual but instead wait til the end of the 10 days.


I've been enjoying some delicious food. Here is my diary from yesterday:


Breakfast
7am Black coffee


(can't eat much first thing in the morning so I have brekky later at the moment)
10am 2x rye crisp bread with avocado and smoked salmon
         2x rye crisp bread with tiny scrape olive oil spread and Vegemite


Lunch
1/2 cup left over ma po tofu pork
1 cup fruit salad


Afternoon tea
Small handful almonds
2x small plums


Dinner
1 small chicken breast poached in miso and other Japanese sauces
1/2 cup Asian greens
1x small plum


Late evening snack
1/2 small banana


Not a lot of food there! I was starving when I went to bed at midnight last night and so got up to have the banana. Could only manage half as it kept getting stuck. 


The exercise routine has not started yet. One of my best mates is due over soon and we are going for a swim downstairs. It is a lovely day here in Sydney but I still can't stop thinking of all the people affected by the floods in Queensland. Just heartbreaking!


-----------


My mate Amber just left. It was absolutely lovely to catch up with her. We had a very refreshing swim and then I made us a delicious lunch of tuna and lentil salad. We also had fresh cut rockmelon, watermelon, peach, strawberries and cherries. I'm so stuffed now! The fruit was so delicious and juicy that I kept popping bits into my mouth without listening for the band to tell me I'd had enough. I was busy chatting away to so wasn't concentrating hard enough. Oh well. 


I've got to go and start another blog for my uni assignment. I started one on WordPress but I don't like it. It is too boring. I want to do a fun project on Blogger. WordPress is too hard!

Typing away - playing with the Hipstamatic on my iPhone

Hope all is well in Blogland. 


Vanessa

Day 2 of 10 day "Getting Serious" diet

Before I go on about my band, I have to mention the Queensland floods. If you haven't heard about it already, 80% of our great state of Queensland has been declared a disaster zone due to devastating floods. 13 people are dead, 50 are missing and thousands have been made homeless. 30,000 more properties are expected to be inundated by flood waters tomorrow, when the Brisbane River peaks.

"The Queensland capital is now the scene of a natural disaster
unprecedented in contemporary Australia." 

The Australian - 12 January 2010

Ipswich, just west of Brisbane, inundated by floodwaters.
Photo: The Australian

If you haven't already, please donate whatever you can to help these poor people. The Queensland Government has a site where anyone can donate. There's even details for international donations. Thank you!


My thoughts are with everyone in Queensland and anyone who has family there. This is a terrible time but I know the Aussie spirit will get you though it.




Now on to band news...


After weighing in at 88.2kg in the morning at home, when I had the appointment with my surgeon at 1pm, I clocked in at 88.8kg. Yuck. He didn't say it flatout but he basically said I need to step up my game because I've been plateauing for too long. I agree, hence my Getting Serious diet which I started yesterday. He added half of what was removed when I had the unfill at the end of last year which must have been about .5ml of saline. I've lost track where I'm up to now but I think my band should be around half full at 5ml. 


Feeling ok today. Woke up STARVING. Last night I just had some vegies sautéed in olive oil served with a very thin slice of a chicken terrine my dad had made on the weekend. 


Today I survived my first full day without sugar, dairy or complex carbs. Here's the list:


Breakfast
1 egg, fried with a short spray of canola oil


Morning tea
1 cup fruit salad


Lunch
Lentil and tuna salad: chopped celery, carrot, parsley, corianda; lentils; roasted pinenuts; 1 small can tuna; dressing of olive oil, white balsamic vinegar, lemon juice


Afternoon tea
2 small plums
Small handful raw almonds


Dinner
1 cup Mapo tofu pork: pork mince, tofu, chili paste, soy sauce, garlic, ginger, corianda, green onions


I was quite content after I finished dinner but I'm a bit hungry again now, just two hours later.


I have had a wicked hunger headache all day which I suppose is a result of eating less and withdrawing from sugar and carbs. The first couple of days are the worst though so hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.


So, two days down, eight to go.


I have just got to repeat Kate Moss's motto: "nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels"!


Hope all is well out in blogland.


V.

Getting serious about working the band

Yesterday I listed the issues that are currently affecting my anxiety. Today I'm going to put together some clear goals as to how to deal with these problems. 


1. Keeping Noo active


This is a constant source of guilt for me. I know Noo wants to be outside running around all the time but I just can't provide that for him. I know he feels cooped up in the apartment, but what can I do? I think it is fair that I take him out for a play for half the day and the other half we spend in doors so I can do my study/blogging.


And we are often out more than half a day doing all sorts of fun stuff like swimming, walking, going to the zoo, the beach, the aquarium. And when we are home he has everything he could possibly want: all the toys, books and TV shows a kid his age could possibly need! And I don't just leave him to it. I'm always in the room with him and I talk to him while he plays on the floor and I work at the dining room table. Surely this is enough!


Thank goodness daycare starts back tomorrow so we'll both get some welcome relief.

Out and about in Hyde Park yesterday afternoon to check out
the Sydney Festival First Night event

2. Getting my diet back on track


OK, this is a big one. My next appointment for a fill is on Tuesday and then I'm going to start a version of the Liver Cleansing Diet. I haven't got the book but my sister and brother-in-law have done it several times and I've learnt the basics from them.


Basically the rules are you can eat as much as you like of the following:

• Vegetables
• Fruit
• Nuts and seeds
• Legumes
• Cold pressed oils (eg extra virgin olive oil)
• Lean white meat (eg chicken)
• Fish (including prawns)
• Eggs
• Spices, vinegar, mustard - as long as it is not sweetened

I think I'll struggle with these after a fill, but also allowed are low GI carbs in moderation: 

• Low GI pasta - spelt, brown
• Low GI breads - spelt, sourdough and other whole grain breads
• Low GI rice - Doongara Clever Rice

The following foods must be eliminated from my diet completely:

• Dairy - I really don't like the idea of this because I think skim milk is an excellent source of calcium and it is not bad for you so I'm only going to do this for the first 10 days
• Red meat (eg beef, lamb) - I'm not so keen on this because my iron levels are always low and as lean read meat is the best source of haem iron I'd rather not remove it completely but I'll do it for the first 10 days
• Sugar has to go completely but honey is allowed which is great
• No alcohol is allowed but that's no problem for me!
• No caffeine is allowed. Hmmm. Not into this rule at all! I'll forgo cappuccinos for the first 10 days but my black coffee and Diet Coke stay  

Hardcore fact to think about to keep me on track: Just like alcohol and cigarettes, foods that are high in saturated fat and sugar are poison and can also cause death. 




3. Add some exercise into my week


For some reason I didn't have this one on my list yesterday but really it should be there. I haven't stuck to an exercise routine since 2009! That's a whole year without planned exercise and I really think if I'm ever going to get to my goal weight I need to get to the gym. 


I have absolutely NO EXCUSE not to exercise. To put myself to shame, check this out:

• I have a fully equipped gym in my building only three floors down in the lift where I live. It is never busy and there's a big screen TV to watch while using the cardio equipment.
• I bought a tiny iPod Shuffle in 2009 to use while exercising and I've NEVER used it!
• I have a 25 metre swimming pool in the building that, like the gym, is never busy so I could be doing laps.
• I live right near Sydney Harbour, considered one of the most beautiful harbours in the world, and has the best walking/running routes around it. Joggers and walkers are everywhere around here but yet, I sit back, trying to think up excuses!
• Although I'm flat out doing study on the days Noo is at daycare, I really should be able to fit in an hour of exercise on those three days. 

How bad is that! I am so fortunate to have all these things right at my fingertips and I just take them for granted. The gym, the pool and the million dollar views around the Harbour cost me NOTHING to use! Zilch, nadda, zero cash. 


I told you guys how I joined a gym back in late November, well about two weeks after that I managed to get out of the membership. I just knew I wouldn't go. Who was I kidding? If it is such an effort to go three floors down, how the fuck did I think I was going to get in the car and drive 20 minutes to go to a gym! I astound myself sometimes. I really do.


I've just got to break out of this fear of exercise. That's what it has got to be that holds me back. Fear and laziness. What else could it be? I've just got to go. 


So the goal is to have three planned exercise sessions a week. These can include any combination of the following:

• 45-60 minutes walking around the Harbour
• 45-60 minutes at the gym doing a combination of cardio and weight resistance training
• 30-45 minutes swimming laps

Hardcore facts to think about to keep me on track: Regular physical activity can...

• Help prevent heart disease, stroke and high blood pressure
• Reduce the risk of developing type II diabetes and some cancers
• Help build and maintain healthy bones, muscles and joints reducing the risk of injury 
• Promote psychological wellbeing.

I'll weigh in tomorrow morning as usual and set weight loss goal then. Basically I want to get back to losing a kilo a week. 


There is no one else that can do this but me! I've got the band, the psychotherapy skills, the cooking and food knowledge skills as well as the exercise equipment - all the tools to get me to be the happy, healthy and slim gorgeous woman that I want to be! 


Now I've just got to deal with the short term discomfort in order to accomplish the long term gain.

I CAN DO IT!

I HAVE TO DO IT!

I am never going to be completely happy with myself while I still look in the mirror and see a fat woman looking back at me. 


The last three issues are uni work, spending and getting back to work. As this post is pretty long already I'll leave those for another day.


I'm feeling pumped to get started on this diet/exercise challenge as soon as I get my fill on Tuesday.  So my ten day challenge starts on 11 January and concludes on 20 January. The diet doesn't end there, but hopefully this 10 day kick start will get the kegs moving again.



If you made it this far... thanks for reading.


V.

5 minute check in/anxiety reliever

Feeling blah today. Mum and dad have gone back up to the Blue Mountains after having been with us for a month. My sister is busy and most of my friends are away. I'm kind of feeling the solitude today - in an uncomfortable way. Not that I'm on my own. Noo is here, but you know what I mean... adult company is what I'm missing.


It is a beautiful warm day here but we are in doors so I can spend time on my uni work. I feel bad cos the TV has been on all day as a distraction for Noo. We did go down for a swim at 9 this morning and played around for about 40 minutes but Noo, understandably, is dying to get out again.


It is the Sydney Festival First Night tonight which starts off at 3pm with stuff for kids. Noo and I will walk up to Hyde Park in a little while to check it out. 


I have a little anxiety today and I'm going to type out the reasons and hopefully that will help quell that nauseous guilty feeling I have at the moment.


1. I feel bad Noo is stuck in doors.
2. A month of bad eating is starting to take its toll. Feel fat, especially around my face. Also feel guilty that I've let myself off my diet for so long. Desperately need a fill!
3. I have so much uni work to do for just the one unit. Either university is just massively more work than TAFE or I'm not good at managing my workload... maybe I'm spending more time on things than I need too.
4. I'm skint. Again! I am such a poor money manager I always run out of money half way through the month. 
5. I know I have to start thinking about going back to work soon but I'm PETRIFIED! To the point of feeling sick about it. 


OK. Hmmm, typing it out didn't make me feel that much better actually. I better make a list of what to do to tackle all these issues. First though, better get ready to go out. Noo is gonna start pulling the place apart out of boredom. Plus I'll be able to strike problem one off the list.


Speak later.


V.

2011 here we come!

Happy new year everyone! 


I have not written in this blog for so long it seems. I haven't been getting around reading blogs either. As usual it gets down to time and not having enough of it!


2010 turned out to be one of my best years yet. I just checked my weight spreadsheet and on this day 12 months ago I was 99.7kg when we came back home from our Christmas holidays. After returning from our a ten day holiday this year, I weighed in at 87.8kg. This figure is excellent because after 10 days of basically eating whatever I wanted to I've only gained half a kilo or just over one pound.


I was suppose to have a fill the day before we went away on holidays but after what happened last time I was so worried about getting too restricted and it wrecking my holiday that I cancelled my appointment. As a result I am definitely in the orange zone and have pretty much been back to my naughty old ways. Not quite so bad, but not good either.


Mum, Dad, Noo and I had a lovely time down the south coast staying at a holiday park not far from where my brother and sister in law were staying. We were right near the beach and our cabin was a stone's throw from the pool. Noo and I swam everyday. The weather was great except for one rainy day. 


I took my laptop and my mobile broadband away with us but I had absolutely no reception for my phone or my mobile broadband. Bloody Vodafone! I couldn't do any of my uni work for my assignment. I had to cram all the work in the three days before it was due yesterday. I got it done but boy was it a push. The positive was that I had a really good holiday. Very relaxing (as relaxing as it could be with a two year old!).


So my course powers on. This week our topic is blogs which got me thinking I should write in mine! There's so much interesting information to take in and absorb and analyse in this course. It is full on. I thought I was pretty savvy when it came to the web but, seriously, there is so much out there I'm only just learning about. It just fascinates and astounds me all the time. I'm so grateful that I'm alive now in this exciting time in history. 


I am so excited about this year! I just know that 2011 is going to bring great things. My top five goals for this year are:


1. Reach goal weight of 70kg
2. Return to work
3. Start dating again
4. Complete four units of uni
5. Be the best mum I can be


I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. Here a my favourite pics from our holiday.

Noo and his Pa by the shore

Me Christmas day - wish I held my tummy in!

Noo opening his Christmas pressies

A fashion statement Noo style

Keeping cool in the summer heat