Disappointed

Hello everyone


I haven't written in two weeks and just typing this now is a struggle. I've been really down about my band and haven't wanted to put it into words to be published but I think until I do, this feeling won't go away.


The last time I wrote was before Australia Day when I won a Stylish Blogger Award. That was two weeks ago when I was having trouble getting food down because my band was too tight. In that post I was hoping for a 1kg loss at my next weigh in. Well, when I weighed in on the Monday, after a couple of weeks of getting stuck, I gained! A whole kilo! I couldn't believe it. Having all that restriction and trouble eating and still I gained. I know the week before that I'd been doing that crazy diet of no dairy, no red meat, no carbs, but still. So I rang my surgeon and booked in for an unfill. No use in having all that uncomfortable tightness if it wasn't even helping me lose weight.


I went along to the clinic and my doctor was very nice about it all. He thought it strange though that I was having trouble getting food down, yet I was still hungry all the time. He took out .1ml and ordered a barium swallow, which I'm yet to do. He asked me if I was chewing properly. Was I waiting a full three minutes after the first bite before proceeding with subsequent mouthfuls which are to be taken at 30 seconds intervals? I said he hadn't mentioned the three minute rule for the first bite before, but I would try that in future. 


So since I've had the tiny .1ml of saline taken out, I'm eating much, much more easily. It was such a relief! I still have some restriction, but I'm able to eat a larger range of food and not having that stuck feeling in my chest is so good. I'm hungry a lot though which is not so good. I was hungry before the unfill anyway, so what can I say? I don't know why it is. Maybe the barium swallow will tell us something.


Basically I'm a bit disappointed. I thought having a lap-band would be a lot easier. Not easy, but not this hard. I thought I'd feel satisfied after about 1 to 1.5 cups of food and not need to eat in between meals. I knew I'd have to work at chewing and eating slowly and I'd still have to choose the right foods. I guess what I'm disappointed about is still having that hungry feeling that does me in every time.


I've only lost 1kg (2.2lb) since Christmas. What's not to be disappointed about? That is a crap result. I really thought I'd be down to 80kg, if not in the 70s by now. Urgh! Really disappointed. In myself and the band. I've really been self sabotaging this weekend too. I ate almost a whole packet of chocolate wafer biscuits yesterday. Not in one sitting, but gradually over the day. Noo had two, I ate the rest. Urgh! Plus I've had ice cream every night with a delicious berry crumble my mum made. So good, so bad. Urgh! 


I seriously need to get out of this band-funk. I need to find my motivation again and get off this plateau. I need energy and inspiration and motivation! I need my band to be my friend again and not my enemy.


This is not a great photo of me, but it shows how I feel. 

Tired, down and over it.

That is all for now. I'll try to blog more frequently. I'm so busy with uni that I'm finding it hard to find the motivation to write here as well as write all my stuff for school. 


I hope everyone else is in a better place than me right now.


V.

Still kicking...

Hi all

Sorry I haven't posted. I've been flatout with Christmas and uni. I'm now blogging over at WordPress for my uni work. The new blog is called An education... and if any of you are interested you can follow me there, although I can only guarantee you yawns if you're not interested in the history of the Web!

Life with the band is still cruising along. Since I had my unfill and was sick I haven't been back for an adjustment. I was due next Wednesday but decided to cancel as I didn't want to risk being uncomfortable while we were on our 10 day trip down the coast. I've been really naughty with chocolates over the last week too but I promise once this silly season is over I'm back on the straight an narrow.

That is all I can manage for now. Time to brush the pearly whites and hit the hay.

Hope all is going well out in bandit blogland.

V.

A busy, busy bee

Aaaah! My poor blog, it has been neglected.


I am now so busy with uni work that my blog has been put to the side. As I am doing Internet Communications I actually need to keep a blog as a requirement of the course, but it has to be one started fresh and not one that is already established. I also need to use Twitter so anyone interested can follow me @babblingbandit.


As far how my band is going everything has settled down at last. After a horror week last week, I finally got over whatever illness it was that I had by Sunday and am well and truly better now. I can eat normally again too, thank goodness. I still have restriction, but no where near as extreme as it was.


I actually got down to 86.5kg at the worst of the sickness but weighed in on Monday at 87.3kg. I have now lost a total of 12.7kg, which I'm really happy about. And I am only 2.3kg from my Christmas goal. I have been watching what I eat, but I haven't been too pedantic. I've been focusing on getting as much nutrients (particularly protein) in as possible.


I hope everyone is doing well out in blogland. I will only be updating this blog once a week now. I have downloaded an rss reader for my iPhone so will endeavour to keep up with you all when I can.


V.

This week can't be over soon enough!

I can't believe I've survived the last week. I'm just so happy it is nearly all over.


So after my last post about getting an appointment for an unfill for next Monday, I woke up Thursday morning and decided I could not wait any longer. I called the clinic again and told them water and yogurt were coming back up and I couldn't hack it any more. Luckily the lovely receptionist said she could get me in to see the doctor that day at 1.40pm. The appointment was at their rooms at the SAN hospital in  Wahroonga (the one that to me, is out Woop Woop (ie far away)). Luckily my mum gave me instructions on how to get there quicker than the old sat nav in our car had given me. It also stopped raining on Thursday and the traffic was relatively light at that time of day so the trip only took me 40 minutes.


The doctor explained that I probably had a lot of swelling around the band making it much tighter than it should be. He took .75ml out and I felt immediate relief. He was so nice about it and completely understanding even though I'd had to come back three times to get it right.


I was so hungry that after I left the clinic I drove to our local shopping centre and bought stuff to cook dinner for the family. I grabbed a small meat pie from the baker which I enjoyed immensely as it was the first solid food I'd eaten in nearly a week.


That night I cooked the most beautiful lamb and lentil dish for the family. I only managed about half a cup because I'd been snacking since the unfill.


By about 8.30pm Thursday night I began to get a yucky feeling in my tummy. I went to the loo and well, it was pretty gross. I had the runs big time. That night I was up four times through the night as my body tried to evacuate everything I'd eaten. When I got out of bed Friday morning I was extremely crook. I started vomiting then too. Not PB style but proper stomach spasm style but there was nothing to come up. It was extraordinarily uncomfortable.


It was so lucky that my parents were down from the Mountains because I needed help with Noo. They took over and I was able to stay in bed in between visits to the toilet. I called my GP to ask him to send a prescription for Maxolon down to my pharmacist. Maxolon is for nausea and I thought if I just took a few of those I'd be ok. How wrong was I! Even though I had taken Maxolon all through the first trimester of my pregnancy because I was so sick with morning sickness with no problem, this time it had a major side effect. 


Has anyone heard of restless leg syndrome (RLS)? I can't remember the formal name for it. Basically I get RLS a lot, mainly in my hips. Its where you get this feeling like you can't sit still and your joints kind of ache. It is mostly experienced at night, just when I'm trying to go to sleep. Pregnant women get it a lot too. I also get it badly with some meds but I'd never experienced it before with Maxolon. I didn't even realise it was the Maxolon which had caused it yesterday.


By about 5.30pm last night it had become almost unbearable. Not only did I have the RLS in my legs and hips, but also in my shoulders and wrists. I couldn't sit still. I was pacing up and down the apartment wringing my hands and fidgeting and generally feeling absolutely atrocious. I started crying hysterically and begging for help.


My parents had a concert at the Opera House to go to and even though they didn't want to waste their tickets worth hundreds of dollars, they stayed home to help me. Dad took me to our local emergency room while Mum looked after Noo. I swear my parents are the most wonderful people. They are always coming to my rescue.


The hospital we go to is always pretty quiet compared to some of the bigger hospitals in our area. I only had to wait about 1 hour before I got to see a doctor. In that hour I paced the waiting room all the while wringing my hands together as the restlessness took over my limbs.


When I finally got in to see the doctor I explained about having a bout of gastro, after not being able to eat or drink much over the previous six days because of my band. I also told him about the horrible RLS. The doctor explained the Maxolon can often cause RLS as a side effect of the medication. So that was what was making me feel horrific! 


I ended up staying at the hospital for about four hours while I had blood taken and a drip attached with a medicine that would stop the RLS, as well as another anti nausea medication and saline to rehydrate me. I also had chest and abdominal x-rays taken... why? I don't know.


I snoozed on and off under those horrible fluorescent lights and with the sound of drunk people coming in with various complaints (it was Friday night after all). Dad came and picked me up at around 10.30pm when I was feeling considerably better.


I'm just so glad that the whole episode is nearly over. I still feel pretty crap while I try to get some food and water into me. I just can't believe how I unlucky I was to get a gastro bug after I'd just got my band unfilled. 


I'm sorry I haven't caught up on other's blogs lately. What with being sick and starting uni, I haven't had much time. I hope everyone else in blog land is having a better time of it than me.


V.