Wednesday, August 11, 2010

My first post - how I got here...

Crikey! Can't believe I'm finally doing this. Well, there's two things I can't believe I'm doing... 1, getting a lap-band and 2, writing a blog about it.  I've been considering the both for so long, it seems a bit sureal now I'm actually sitting here a my laptop typing.

I'm very new (obviously) to the whole blogging world so my page will probably look really boring to start with but hopefully over time I'll be able to get something really good and worth reading cranking.

After a year of serious thought, consideration and research I finally went to see a surgeon yesterday about the possibility of getting banded.  I have a fairly low BMI for people considering lap-band surgery, at only 32 (175cms tall, 99.7kgs fat!) and I really had to convince the doc that this was the right option for me.

I've been overweight all my life and "obese" (BMI 30+) for about half of my adult life.  I've yo-yoed all over the place from being as skinny as 67kgs (23 years of age) to ballooning out to 95kgs in my mid twenties and then hovering around 75-83kgs for most of my late twenties/early thirties.  This time though I've been right up there between 91-100kgs for most of the last three years.

I've lost considerable amounts of weight in the past, only to put it straight back on again.  It takes up a lot of space having to have two lots of clothes in your wardrobe all the time - skinny clothes and fat clothes.  I'm tired of it.  This time I'm committed to losing 30kgs and keeping it off for good and the fat clothes are going to go out the door with it!

As I told the doc yesterday, I've tried everything - Weight Watchers several times, Jenny Craig, Lite n Easy, personal trainers, gym memberships, dieticians, everything.  Nothing has really helped me lose the weight and keep it off.

My problem used to be booze.  Majorly calorific in several ways - the grog you drink, the late night Maccas you have after you drink and the hangover alieviating fry up you have the next morning.  My old drinking habits provide enough good stories for a whole other blog, but I'll leave that to another time.  I've since given up the devil's juice and have been proudly sober for 2+ years.  The only problem being that I picked up a replacement addiction - sugar!  Sweet anything. Chocolate mainly and lollies, ice cream, cake, doughnuts, brownies, Tim Tams... The list goes on!

I've just got to find a way to give up the sugar (and fat) as well.  Surely if I can kick a 12 year binge drinking habit, I can rid myself of this food addiction!  A 12 step program maybe? I never really liked (who does?) alcoholics annonymous and I actually never felt I needed to go.  Falling pregnant with my son was what got me on the wagon in 2008 and he is what keeps me safely strapped on there everyday.  Being physically healthy is so important too when you've got a kid.  I don't want to drop dead of a heart attack before I'm 40 just because I'm a massive fan of Daryl Lee, Cadbury's and Lindt!

The band is going to be a great help to keep my portions under control and to make me more mindful of what and how I eat but I'm under no illusions that it will cure me of my sweet addiction. I'm hoping checking in here will assist me there and with the support of my family I will be able to kick this thing.  I'd like to get to a situation where I can "control eat" chocolate.  Like "controlled drinking" which is where a person with a drinking problem has to keep their alcohol consumption to a maximum of two standard drinks a day.  This method, in my view, is absolutely unsustainable because that is the whole nature of a drinking problem - you can't control your intake.  As they say in AA "a million drinks are never enough and one drink is too many", but does this have to apply to sugar with me?

Well, I'll soon find out.  I did manage to convince the doc that I was ready to give this a crack and my surgery is booked for Monday 23 August.  I'm so excited!  But extremely anxious at the same time.  This is it folks. Make or break time.


1 comment:

V said...

welcome! there are several really cool Vs on sorry you and your little one are feeling yucky! hope you are all better soon. :)

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