Day 6: What do I do?

Day 6, Monday: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

Aha! Great question Jenni, creator of #blogeverydayinmay.

Anyone who reads here frequently would know I have a few self esteem issues and I suffer a bit of anxiety. By a bit I mean a lot. If you wanted to ask me a question that could likely send prickles of anxious sweat down my back then this is the one.

What do you do?

Before child I was an executive assistant. I worked for a large financial services company. I had done secretarial work since I graduated high school with a couple of certificates and an ability to type 45 words per minute.

I always hated answering this question with "I work as a secretary". This came up on day 3 - what makes me uncomfortable.

I felt stupid and pathetic and unworthy. The lowest in the ranks of the office. Of course there are lower jobs that are not stupid, pathetic and unworthy. And secretaries are definitely not stupid, pathetic or unworthy. Being a secretary, being a great secretary is hard. And I was a great secretary. When I wasn't hungover.

Back to the present. What do I do?

It is interesting how often people ask that question. ".... and what do you do?". Small talk. So much of human existance is defined by what we do.

Remember my post about work and how much I don't want to go back to the office? I link back to this post all the time...

Funny, I still haven't answered the question yet, have I?

What do I do?

I never seem to stop. From around 7.30am to 1am everyday I'm doing.

But I don't have a 'job' and I'm not on anyone's payroll. But I do pay tax.

I rarely watch TV any more. I hardly ever read fiction these days. I stopped reading political commentary.

And I'm single.

So, what do I do?

I look after my four year old Noo.
On Mondays and Tuesdays I look after my 16 month old niece Mala.
I read blogs.
I write my blog.
I do social media.
I do domestic chores.
I pay my bills.
I shop.
I eat.
I drink coffee and Diet Coke.
I worry. A lot.
I go to doctor's appointments.
I wonder where my time goes.
I manage my moods and my anxiety levels.
I avoid anything that might make my anxiety levels go up.
I over analyse my neuroses.
I occassionally catch up with friends.
I question how I ever had the time to work or sleep in or read a book or follow a TV series.


What do you do?

V.

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