It's hard to be good without you (restriction)

I am hungry!

I do not like this sensation.

I need a fill badly and my appointment is a couple of weeks away still. I am trying to be so good, but its hard to be good without you.... hahaha... that's a Vince Jones lyric. He's a jazz singer/muso here in Aus. I don't know if he wrote the song It's Hard To Be Good, but its in my head a lot because that's how I feel right now... Anyway, I'm famished. My will power has vanished. Five weeks between fills, especially this early on in the process, is too long.

I have been keeping a food diary since Monday to really see where I'm fucking this up. The big problem as far as I can see, is that I eat out way too much, and I'm unorganised. I don't plan meals ahead of time. Plus having a fussy eater for a kid makes it hard too. Having a kid full stop is hard when it comes to food. I've got to have cheese and full cream milk and sausages and fish fingers, etc in the house that I normally wouldn't have if it wasn't for Noo. Not that I'm blaming Noo Noo for my poor diet. I'm just pointing it out as another obstacle to my staying on track and losing weight.

So here's my food diary for the last three days, the bad stuff is in red:

Monday

Breakfast - 1/2 tub of Ski De-Lite yogurt

Snack - Uncle Toby's yogurt top muesli bar

Lunch - yum cha - Sky Phoenix, 1 scoop Chocolate ice cream - Westfield foodcourt

Snack - 1 mum's macarons

Dinner - 1/2 cup fruit salad, 1 fish finger, 1/2 cup chilli con carne - cooked by me with lean mince - served with 1 tablespoon shredded cheese, 1 teaspoon light sour cream

Tuesday

Breakfast - 1/2 tub of Ski De-Lite yogurt, 1 cup melon

Snack - Carmen's muesli bar

Lunch - 1/2 small serve ma po tofu pork - TAFE canteen

Snack - 1 cup melon

Dinner - 1 slice lean roast pork, 1/2 baked potato, 1 small piece kumera, gravy and apple sauce - cooked by mum

Ma po tofu pork - I only ate half of this small serve

Wednesday

Breakfast - 1 tub of Ski De-Lite yogurt

Snack - none

Lunch - 1/2 serve tuna salad, handful thick cut hot chips, 1 scoop banana ice cream - Westfield foodcourt

Snack - 1 handful raw cashews

Dinner - 2 thin pure beef sausages, 3 macarons, 1 snack pack of mini cookies

There's way too much red in there! And I've only done one session of exercise so far this week too. I have excuses for that, but really? There's too many excuses! I know it's boring for you, the reader, to see my food diary, but to actually see it typed up like that really makes me stop and think. Its all about control. Control is something I lack. That's why I got the band in the first place. I know, I know... its a tool, not a magic wand, I've got to work it. These times in between appointments are the killer.

Its still early days. I'm only one fill down and I've lost nearly 10 kilos (20lb) in 10 weeks so I should really be happy, right? I just expected the green zone to be found sooner and the weight to drop off faster and to not feel hungry between meals ever again.

There's six weeks until Christmas can you believe it! I had really hoped to get to 80kg by the time we went down the coast for our holidays but it looks like I need to be a bit more realistic. My new goal is 85kg by Christmas. That means, eating better and exercising more and finding a new song to get into my head!

V.