Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Two conferences and a man

I've got a feeling. No, I'm not about to launch into that Black Eyed Peas song. That tonights gonna be a... bloody, hell. Back on track! That song has been in my head since the Gala Dinner at #DPCON13 last Thursday night.

What I am trying to say is I've got that feeling like there's a million different things going around in my head and I really don't know how to organise them all. So much has been going on over the last week and I'd love to report on it all but that would probably take a book to do the stories any justice.

My last post attempted to express my experience at Digital Parents Conference with three photos that illustrated how I felt throughout those amazing two days. Now I've got a word cloud for you. The words in the pretty coloured heart shape below are floating around in my head and I'm struggling to organise them into coherent sentences.






In the two days that followed DPCON13 I attended another conference: The Australian Virtual Assistants Conference. AVAC2013 was just as awesome as DPCON13. I learnt so much, met some really lovely people and was truly inspired by a wonderful group of women who are literally 'doing it for themselves' by working from home running their own businesses.

I am in the process of setting up my own Virtual Assistant business. I've registered a business name, got an ABN, a domain name, some web space and social media accounts set up. I'm going to take the process really slowly so I don't fizzle out again by jumping in too hard and too fast. There's been enough fizzle this year. I need more bang!

Now, speaking of bangs, that's the final thing I wanted to tell you about. Actually, he's more than a bang. I've been seeing someone very casually for three months. We've been on about a dozen dates during that time. There's been no rush and no pressure - awesome. I've really taken it easy with this one. You know what I mean; not too many texts, not coming across overly keen. I've played the game. Not that there should be a bloody game with dating but we all know there is. And I usually lose.

Over this time I've dated a few other guys and I know he has dated other women. I've been totally cool with that because I really didn't want to rush into anything. And there have been times over the last three months that I thought I didn't like him at all. I actually wrote this post, pleading for answers as to why I am still single, on the day after we spent a night together.

That was nearly two months and four dates ago and now I REALLY LIKE HIM! And I have a bad feeling that it is going to end in tears on my part. Last night I sent him a text (yes, I wimped out saying it face to face), after we spent all Saturday night and a lot of Sunday together, asking where he thought we were going with this. I made it clear I don't want a full on move-in-let's-get-married kind of relationship (yet), but I'm feeling icky at the thought of him with other women now. Basically I want us to be exclusive with one another.

I think after a very intimate three months of dating it is about the right time to ask for exclusivity. He returned my text with something along the lines of 'yes, we do need to talk about this' but I'm yet to get a call or a text.

What do you think? Am I being fair?

I feel like such a teenager asking you lovely ladies who read me but I'm going insane here. His silence is speaking volumes. Or is it? I'm imagining him spending the last 24 hours deliberating over his feelings for me. Going through every detail of what he knows about me and likes and doesn't like and coming to the conclusion that I'm too fat, too poor or weighed down with way too much baggage bulging with The Past.

But, men are simple folk, and I'd bet $100 he hasn't given me or my question a moment's thought. He doesn't even read my blog (which is why I'm writing this here)!

Crikey, I have no idea what to think or do about it. I'm useless when it comes to men. I just can't stop thinking about him! This part of dating sucks.

At least I do know that both DPCON13 and AVAC13 were awesome.

Can't wait for next year.


V.








21 comments:

Jenny Clift said...

I'm not one to be giving advice, but that's the sort of question I'd have asked in person just because the waiting game is awful. Hope you hear from him soon, although, you're well within your rights to call him to arrange a date. Then you can get it sorted one way or the other. Good luck.

Eleise Hale said...

Such a tough wait for him to respond. One day he will read your blog you know! I am with you, he probably hasn't even thought about the question since you asked, I would call and bring up the conversation. Good luck!

Kim Frost falling face first said...

Agh Vanessa that part of dating sux. It's SO a game and always will be, no matter who pretends it's not. I have nothing useful to say, except that I guess you have to keep playing it.. play it cool(ish) and don't chase him up after your text (even though the wait is a bitch). So glad you've found a nice one though! And even MORE pleased you're getting your own business together. Nice one. All power to you. Go with distraction - you've certainly got enough awesome positive stuff going on right now. You go girl!

Yvette said...

whoa!! thats crazy!! 4 days of conferences.. my head was spinning just after DPCon!!! Yay for getting your business together thats awesome news!!!

Janet from Redland City Living said...

Wonderful reading all these DPCON13 posts. I've got my ticket for Problogger on the Gold Coast in September and can't wait - my first bloggy conference!


BTW my friend Kathie Thomas organised AVAC - I think she had a great time too but is exhausted this week. Good luck with your Virtual Assisting. I guess that is what I do but I haven't called it that yet! I do websites, editing, social media coordination, marketing and more for businesses, all from the comfort of my own home ;-)

Janet from Redland City Living said...

PS and I only started 6 months ago!

Emily @ Have a laugh on me said...

You know I reckon the best thing to do is to speak face to face. The new age of text and social media leaves too much up in the air, so many things can be misread the wrong way! I really hope things pan out, but in the meantime, I reckon just ask. It's better to know than keep guessing! Hugs xx Em

babblingbandit.me said...

Thanks Emily! I'm going to leave it over Easter and then propose we meet up and discuss it face to face. We chatted briefly over facebook last night so at least it is all friendly. Face to face is definitely the next step.

babblingbandit.me said...

Hey Janet! How cool, you know Kathie. She is like the guru of Aussie VAs from what I can tell. I am rather excited about the potential for the VA thing. I'd like to do editing, social media, transcripting, presentations, DTP, Word templates, style docs. That sort of stuff.


You will love PBEvent. I went last year and it was fab. I'm hoping I might be able to get myself up to GC this year but at the moment it is just a pipe dream. Have to scout around a sponsor methinks. Would love to bring my son up and make a holiday of it!


Thanks for stopping by. V.

babblingbandit.me said...

Hey Yvette. Lovely to meet you at the conference. Yeah, 4 days was crazy but totally worth it. V.

babblingbandit.me said...

The Dating Game! It sucks. I will keep playing but I refuse to chase. I've wasted too many years in the past chasing a man who didn't return the feeling. Thanks for stopping by with great advice and understanding.

babblingbandit.me said...

You're right about the face to face bit. I should have done that instead of with a text at 10.30pm. Will leave it until after Easter and then make my move then. If it's a no go then I'll move on. V.

babblingbandit.me said...

Hopefully if he does read this post will be so far down the history he won't find it. Although I wouldn't care if he did read it. I've said nothing bad. I'll keep you posted as to what happens. V.

EssentiallyJess said...

Oh it's a tough one. I think, you kind of need to go with your gut. If there's something telling you he will hurt you, there may be a reason for that.
Having said that, it's been a long time for me and so i have no real idea. I hope you get an answer shortly. The waiting must be driving you nuts!

Lisa @ MummyManifesto said...

I bet you are exhausted after all those conferences! I think 3 months is plenty enough time for him & you to put all your cards on the table. You have more patience than me in that department. I hope it all goes well for you. Dating is hard work. I hope to meet you properly at the next conference. xx

Jeanie said...

Text is evil unless used for flirting in the dating game, methinks!! I have no advice, just the space inside your head while waiting for answers has to stop obsessing over the answers and that someone else has all the power.



I used to be a VA and still get all the info from AVAC - it did look like a blast.

babblingbandit.me said...

Another VA! Awesome. I didn't even realise it was a legitimate thing until recently. V.

babblingbandit.me said...

Dating is hard work! V.

babblingbandit.me said...

Yeah, I'm going with the gut feeling that if I keep going out with him without getting some clarity on where we are going I will end up getting hurt. I've been stung by unrequited love before. Don't need that heartache again!

Deborah Cook said...

I'm crap at the dating thing but looking forward to seeing what happens next for you and hearing about the 'conversation'.

Claudia littlecottagebiglife said...

We are in April now and I was wondering how you got on with the dating game V?

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