My story
I was
not ok.
It was six months since I'd been a victim of a crime that would change
me forever.
I was
not ok.
It was five months since I'd moved back to Sydney
from my life living overseas for several years and my old friends here were all
doing different things and I didn’t want to burden them.
I was
not ok.
It was five months since I had gotten out of
hospital after being treated for depression, post traumatic stress disorder and
poly-substance abuse.
I was
not ok.
It was five months of living sober for the first
time in my life and having to deal with the raw emotion, the flashbacks, the
fear, the disgust, the desperation, the sadness, and the sense of responsibility
that I'd been the key player in the destruction of my soul.
I was
not ok.
It was Sunday the 25th of November 2007 and I was
in such a deep dark hole that I thought I'd never ever get out of.
And when
my family asked if I was ok, I lied.
I crawled into bed with a bottle of wine and music
up loud. A stack of strong sleeping tablets all pushed out of their blister
packs and spread over the doona.
I cried. And I cried. And I screamed...
I AM
NOT OK!
And I
started to feel a little less not ok.
I got involved with outpatient programs at a very
good psychiatric facility and I kept speaking to people.
And I
started to feel a bit ok.
I continue to speak to my psychiatrist every week.
I speak to my family every day. I hold my three year old son in my arms, and I
know…
Nearly
five years later, I am more than ok.
With the help of my amazing network of family,
friends and healthcare professionals I have come through to the other side.
Who will
you ask today?
RUOK?
And
please don’t forget: It is OK to say, “I’m not OK”.
For help please use these helpful resources:
Call: 1800
RUOKDAY (1800 7865 329) to connect with crisis lines
Visit: your
doctor, a counsellor or trusted healthcare professional
Access: ruokday.com
for tips from their information partners
Lifeline 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Lifeline 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Please find below our R U OK?DAY Blogger Stories of Inspiration. The Australian blogosphere has united to inspire all Australians to take responsibilty for the people in their lives who may be struggling and need an opportunity to say 'I am not OK' to a friend or family member. May our words and experience give hope and call everyone to action to help stop little problems becoming big ones.
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