Monday, December 10, 2012

All I want for Christmas is...

I've been writing some serious shit lately, like Friday's reflection on my experience as Noo's mum over these last four years, and then I confessed that Santa's Sugar Sleigh has been too hard for me to resist. I was so glad to find myself tagged by the ever-awesome Kylie from A Study In Contradictions in a Santa Wish List meme currently making the rounds on the interwebz. Now I can have a little fun!

Before I get stuck into this list I just wanted to do a little blog loving arse kissing, cos I think Kylez is a legend. Her blog is always such a lovely and positive place to visit. Her Instagram feed is full of joyous pictures of her family, and she leaves the loveliest comments, not just on this blog but all over the Aussie blogging community. And how gorgeous is her daughter, Mia! The photos Kylez takes of her are outstanding. My favourites are the numbered singlets Kylie has dressed Mia in once a month and taken pictures of her to track her physical changes. I am defo copying that if I ever have another bub.

So basically I have a massive girl/blogger crush! Check out her blog if you haven't already:

Back to my Christmas wishlist. Here it is:

Santa, this is for you mate. Read it and make it happen. Thank you. 

1. Money, Money, Money

Kylie asked for "a billion dollars" (cue that guy with the pinky finger in the corner of his mouth) but I just want an unlimited supply of cash. I don't want to have to think about how much I need now, next week, month, next year or for my retirement. I am absolutely shit with money. I'm 38 and still I cannot manage my income. I get paid monthly and I live like a king for a week a pauper for the next three.

Shopping is another addiction of mine. I love looking through Pinterest for inspiration for new clothes purchases. I have so many clothes for a chick that doesn't get out much, and sometimes I go through phases where I just want to wear leggings and a t-shirt and gym shoes day after day, but I love my clothes collection. There's even a lot of stuff in my wardrobe that has either only been worn once or twice or still have the labels attached! Eeek.

I also love technology and gadgets which can get pretty expensive, so Santa, I need more cash to indulge in these kind of purchases. I can browse the Apple shop or JB Hi-Fi for hours looking at new headphones or stereos, etc. Wasting hours Googling reviews of gadgets like computer mouses, keyboards, styli, speakers, external hard drives is also a favourite past time. Geek I know!

Santa, I also need all this cash so I can buy more toys for Noo (and me) to play with. We love toys! We love collecting whatever is the latest thing. It started with Thomas trains and tracks, now superhero action figures and their respective vehicles and corresponding dress ups for Noo to wear. There will defo be more crazes we have to get into so I'll need unlimited funds to feed that habit as well.

2. A boyfriend and sex on tap

When I was a teenager (actually still to this day) we always had a notepad next to the phone where the shopping list is written up. Each member of the family could write what they needed on there. You know like tampons or milk, canned tomatoes, shampoo, whatever we'd run out of... I always wrote on mum's shopping list "a boyfriend". It was done in humour with a tinge of honesty. Not that I wanted my mum to choose my boyfriend, I just wanted one. Still do. I'm just so crap at finding the right one.

When I get that boyfriend, I want sex. Lots of it. (Are you listening Santa? It isn't too much to ask to find a man that wants lots of sex, surely? And I don't mean with you Santa, you dirty old man! Yuck, I can't do it with anyone over about five years older than me. That is just gross.)

I love sex. There I've said it. I want it regularly. With someone I trust and love. Someone I can give myself over to. Not one night stands with random strangers. I've had plenty of that type of sex and it sucks (no pun intended because I never went there on a drunken one-nighter).

When I hear of my married friends who "can't be bothered any more" or are "too tired" or "don't have the time" or are "happy just snuggling on the couch after the kids have gone to bed" it astounds me. Maybe that is because I've wasted a huge amount of my 30s celibate but sex with the right person, hopefully the person you're committed too, is awesome! Or at least it should be! And if it is not, get help. See a professional.

3. A successful blog that entertains as well as educates

I want my blog to be funny, touching, entertaining and a place where I can tell my stories and my posts be the kind of blog posts that people want to read (therefore converting into page hits) and come back to read the next one. A blog so good that everyone wants to subscribe to it (hint, hint reader - sign up now!) And Santa, I'm pretty sure you can deliver this to me, you are magic, right?

I hope that people who have experienced anything similar to what I write about might find my blog as a place to come to help them feel like they are not alone. Or that it could help someone, even just one person, realise that no matter what shitty dirty hole their Rock Bottom looks like there's always a way out, somehow. I also want what I write about to help remove some of the stigma against mental health and addiction.

Santa, I also want to get invited to heaps of cool blogger events and meet more cool people and get free stuff. Is that bad? Oh, actually, Santa if you come through with item number one the free stuff doesn't matter, but I still really want to keep meeting new people through blogging events.

4. The ability to not crave for anything

Santa, listen carefully to this one: I want to not feel the need for anything. I don't want to crave lollies, chocolate, cake, ice cream, cocaine, wine, beer, Valium, cigarettes, weed, new clothes, shoes, sex... I want that hole inside me that sometimes feels so empty and hollow that I stuff it with anything just to feel complete to disappear. Sometimes the wanting is so intense and I don't know what will make it go away. And anyway, anything I do stuff in there is only a temporary fix.

I would like a permanent solution please Santa. Please fill the hole.

A little healthy yearning or ambition is fine, but that dark emptiness I so often feel within me can go to be replaced with a constant sense of satisfaction.

Santa, I'd like inner peace. Please.

5. Good health and happiness for all

Santa, please, the other stuff really doesn't matter, what I'd really like is good health and happiness for me and all my family - fuck it - make it for all the good people I know and the ones who read my blog. I'd like no harm to ever come to anyone of us. I'd like Noo to go through school without ever being bullied. I'd please like my parents to live forever without aging. Fuck, now I am getting a bit fantastical here. I don't want anyone of my family to ever die.

Ok, so I've managed to get deep again! I really shouldn't write late at night.

Now to tag some bloggers to get the list moving on:

Mummy Ate Me

Bachelormum Style

Project Kathryn

The Camera Chronicles

Mum of Adult Kids

Get cracking chicks! There's only 15 sleeps to go!

Thanks to Jess from Essentially Jess for starting this year's wishlist meme.



Kathryn OHalloran said...

Thanks for the tag. I'll get something up this week. I've been through that living from one paycheck to the next. It sucks. And sex on tap - awesome. Guys say that women don't want the nice guys but if I found a nice guy who was good in bed, I'd be all over that shit!

The Babbling Bandit said...

A nice guy who is good in bed - exactly! I just bought your erotica ebook on Amazon so maybe that can keep me going while I'm waiting for Santa to come through.

Kathryn OHalloran said...

Thanks :)

EssentiallyJess said...

Wow that did get deep!
Really hope you find what you need to fill the whole.
And I think sex is awesome too :)

Kelly HTandT said...

Imagine a world without cravings... If we didnt long for so many things then i think world peace might be a little more achievable! And I think that those of us who have sex on tap take it for granted. Great list x

The Babbling Bandit said...

Yeah, deep. Apparently it's because I'm a Scorpio that makes me go D&M on everything. Not that I believe in that tripe.

Thanks for starting this meme Jess!

Emily said...

Great list, and I'm loving your blog, just wish I had more time as there is so much I want to read and time is my enemy at the moment, after Xmas I'm going to escape and get stuck it! Emily

Rachel @ TheKidsAreAllRight said...

I love your blog so much! And I hope all your wishes come true, and not just because it would mean I'd get good health and happiness :)

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