Friday, June 22, 2012

Project obsessions

Scratch that itch...

I'm feeling the itch for a project coming on and when I get into something I really get into it. Madly, passionately and obsessively into whatever my brain has decided it wants to occupy its time with... and then I get over it in a flash. The obsession is over, my brain switches off that channel and flicks over to the next, or simply turns on stand-by to wait for the next wave of inspiration. I never know how long each project will last but I go into each one with the veracity and intent that it will become a life long habit.

Like this blog for instance. Fifty-two blog posts from August through to December 2010, a paltry 19 for the whole of 2011 and so far only nine for 2012. But that is going to change. I'm planning a big return for the Babbling Bandit. Well, this is the return. Don't know if it's big or not, but I'm hoping to really make it a part of my life again.

Some past obsessions...

Go Blues to Blues who?

I once had a two year love affair with the Australian Football League (AFL), namely the Carlton Football Club. I was the maddest fan around through the 1994 and 1995 seasons. I was living in Melbourne at the time, right near the Melbourne Cricket Ground. If you're from Melbourne or know anything about Melbourne, you'd know they love their AFL. Its a religion, in fact. They worship the game. So you really can't live there and not take up a team. Unless of course you want to feel completely left out in the office every Monday morning when all your colleagues are milling around the kitchen talking about who got the biggest mark or what team is currently on the top of the ladder.

So off I went every weekend to the game, in the freezing Melbourne winter, with scarves, footy jumper, banners, navy blue ribbons in my hair for two whole seasons. I knew all the players names, numbers and stats. I read the sports pages and watched the Footy Show. Yes, you heard me! I read the sports section of the newspaper! From the analysis of the previous weekend's games to the review of what matches were to come the following Saturday and Sunday. Obsessed.

In 1995 I even won the office footy tipping comp which really pissed off the blokes. And not because I am a woman but because I am from Sydney. Or actually, probably a combination of the both.

I was about to fork out a wad of cash to become a CFC member when out of the (navy) blue (pun intended) we moved back north to Sydney. In those days the home team, the Swans, were still pretty shit and Sydney hadn't got on the AFL bandwagon yet making it pretty hard to follow from that distance.

So I gave it up. Just like that. Now I still consider Carlton my team but I don't go to games or even watch it on the telly. I have no idea where they are on the ladder or who their captain 
is (actually I think its Chris Judd... maybe?).

I don't follow any sport now.

A so-called lifestyle change...yeah, whatever

I've been on many diets in my life but there was one diet back in 2003 where I totally became obsessed with every calorie I put in my gob, every minute I did of exercise. I refused to see my friends or eat anything that wasn't within my allotted WW points allowance. I was even more focused than I ever have been with my lap-band. I lost a stack of weight and became the fittest I've ever been but I was miserable. Depressed and obsessed with my body and my weight.

Along with dropping my friends I quit drinking, cigarettes, sugar and chocolate. I read diet and exercise magazines and nothing else. It was madness. This lasted about four months. I got down to 70kg but I actually felt so shit about myself that I didn't believe anyone who mentioned all the weight I'd lost. I was just so focused on the losing the numbers off the scale that I couldn't see the results through the eyes of others. That is until I finally decided to venture out and drink again. 

One drink at the races turned into about a dozen Bacardi Breezers (yeah, classy, I know) and I was running around the place proclaiming to the world I'd got my mojo back and flash my lifestyle flicked back again... who cares how many points are in a Breezer?

That's me on the left holding a Breezer, with my arm around my sister.
There's no bulge around my tummy!

Another "phase" done and dusted.

School's out for summer and winter... but will I ever go back?

2010 saw me complete half a diploma of web development. In 2011 I continued to study for a Bachelor of Arts Internet Communications degree. I really enjoyed studying, putting all I had into it and I actually got great marks which was a huge boost for my confidence and self esteem after such a long period away from work. That was until last year my anxiety won the battle and I withdrew through fear of failure. I enrolled again this year but my health issues made it almost impossible to study again. So many doctor's appointments and feeling crap (which I've talked about in a lot of detail here and here). A lot of that is slowly resolving now but I've lost my study mojo for now. The thought of assignments and deadlines just terrifies me.

Looking for inspiration - Nuffnang Blogopolis here we come!

I'm becoming mildly obsessed with the 'mummy blogger' phenomenon and Aussie bloggers in general. There are so many cool chicks (and blokes) out there sharing away - talking serious, talking mundane, just talking, or writing I should say, some really tops stories. Some of them even had tea with the Prime Minister (for the record if I had been invited, I would have turned it down, based on the fact I probably would have ended up in the lock-up for bitch slapping the woman across the mouch) which must mean people are reading. 

So I've been thinking this is something I can do, blogging that is, not assaulting the PM. (Which I wouldn't really do anyway! I'm not a violent person.) I can do it from home, there's no deadlines, no pressure, there's no right or wrong answers. People may read, or they may not. And I've always found blogging to be a release. I'm a chronic oversharer (see here and here for examples) and I think I may have a story or two to add to the Blogosphere, especially because there is at least one project that I picked up a few years ago I still have. One little part of me that is never going away... my boy NED! The love of my life. My gorgeous little creature who brings me more joy and happiness and surprises me everyday with his smarts and beautiful nature. And then there's my lap-band. It is still here. I'm just bored with talking about it (although I'm sure I will continue to give the gory details).

So there it is. The Babbling Bandit is back. Let's see if I can break the cycle of unfinished projects and get this thing back on the road.


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